A Personal and Theological Reflection
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In May, I will celebrate 52 years as a diocesan priest. Sacramentally, May is a big month for me. I was baptized in 1947 on May 4th, made my First Communion in 1954 on the 16th and was ordained to the priesthood in 1973 on the 19th. My most significant personal sacramental encounters with the Living God in and through the person of Jesus Christ have all taken place in Mary’s month. And since November 1985 when I asked the Lord’s deliverance from the scourge of an over-reliance on alcohol and asked Mary’s intercession, I have had a special relationship with the Blessed Mother as well. This relationship was intensified and transformed in Medjugorje in 2007 and after a sabbatical in Mexicali, Mexico 2019 she became known to me as La Madre. And when I moved into my present cottage, I named it La Casa de La Madre.
My faith and my heart tell me that Jesus is real. Jesus is the Only begotten Son of the Living God. Our Savior and Lord. I would like to share with you a memorable life-transforming experience I had back in 1970. I was in my second year of Theological studies at Saint Charles Borromeo Seminary. It was early September and we had embarked on our annual retreat at the beginning of the academic year. Our Retreat Master that year was Archbishop (now Venerable) Fulton J. Sheen. To a 24-year-old seminarian, Bishop Sheen seemed old then and somewhat frail as I observed him walk the length of the Immaculate Conception Chapel. (Although as I write this, I am already three years older than he was then.)
He only seemed frail until he was in the pulpit and then something dramatic took hold of him. For 45 minutes, without any notes, only a crucifix in his hand, he spoke as eloquently as anyone I have ever heard, of Jesus Christ. He preached to us and enthralled us ten times. The man was a believer. There was no doubt. He was convicted. I had never before heard anyone speak in such a way and with such utter abandonment to the love of God than Bishop Sheen did that September. His eyes blazed. His look went right through you. I have never since encountered anyone whose look affected me like his did. Into my soul it went. Whatever he had, I wanted it. I wanted to be such a priest.
One of his conferences was on the Eucharist and the Last Supper and how Christ washed the dusty feet of those very ordinary men and graced them to be his priests sharing his very self with them. Jesus was leaving himself to them—and us—under the appearance of bread and wine. And with a simple command: “Do this in memory of me.” Of course, that was very familiar to me as it is to us all. As was the adjournment to the Garden of Gethsemane afterwards. It was the special invitation to Peter, James and John, to accompany Jesus deeper into the recesses of the Garden that captivated me. He was asking them to draw close to Him in this, his Hour, and be with Him in prayer.
I wanted to be included in that most intimate of invitations. But those three apostles let Him down. Big time. In the moment of his greatest need for them to step up, they fell asleep. Jesus comes over to them only to find them asleep. “Asleep? Could you not watch with Me one hour?” And right in that moment my young heart said, “I will watch with You. I will stay awake in prayer.” I wanted the Lord to know that He could count on me. Bishop Sheen revealed that when he first heard that story his reaction was the very same reaction I had had. The Bishop made a decision. He would make a holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament every day as a priest all the days of his life. He was a priest for over 60 years at the time of his death.
I too made a decision on that Retreat. I would make a holy hour each day, to spend at least an hour in prayer every day before the Lord. That was 55 years ago. It took time to adjust and to grow acclimated. There have been some days I have failed to live out that promise. There have been days when I too have fallen asleep instead of being a reliable watchman, or beloved friend to the Lord. But in my failures the Lord has always come to me and reconstituted me just as he did his apostles for their failure that night. It has been a great honor to me to keep vigil with Our Lord in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, until He calls me home. To gaze upon Him here and to experience his gentle gaze upon me here. And beyond—in the Beatific Vision. The vast majority of my days I have presented myself and prayed before the Lord Jesus for at least an hour by His grace. Over 30 of those years before the Blessed Sacrament.
Not everyone is called to spend an hour in compressed closeness to Our Lord. Not all of the Twelve were. But if you have that sense in you that this is something that the Lord is placing upon your heart, then it is best that you begin to respond. You do not have to start with an hour. But you can start with 10 minutes and a decade of the rosary. Slowly. Slowly. You will begin to grow more at home. Just look at Him. Let yourself feel his gaze upon you as you look at the Host. He is there. He is present. He is the Real Presence. There is no better way to fill these last two weeks of Lent than to spend time with Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.
Click here to access written homilies related to the Eucharist
